Once upon a time, not too long ago, in a previous life, I was married into a family where every Christmas (in my own home) one of the most prized traditions was hanging special baubles on the family Christmas tree, with family members names written on them. Not everyone`s names, just certain members. It just didn`t sit right with me and kept bugging me why it was only certain names and not all. When I gave it some thought I realised the only family members who merited a bauble with their name on it were all the ones who were related genetically. Genetics, ughhh. It felt like an inner sanctum of superior special family super members. Those of us who had married into this family weren`t considered equal, nor our children that came with us, and some of the other partners had been around many years longer than me. When I dared point it out, let`s just say it wasn`t well received.
Both Claire and I through our experiences have grown to loathe Genetics, and the hypnotic hold it has over so many people, and the abuse it seems to empower.
For some, those related through genetics just can`t do anything wrong. We`ve all seen the sobbing mother outside of court after her son is convicted of some heinous crime he even admitted to, saying she doesn`t believe he did it. We`ve all seen the family where if you upset one member before you know it every brother, sister, uncle and cousin are coming after you.
Worst of all are when parents use their genetic relationships to take advantage and abuse the very children they should be protecting.
Genetics seem to have some mystical illogical override of logic, morality and justice. It`s as though for some, Genetics is more important than Integrity and Honesty. Or, it just completely blinds them. Protect that family member first, even if they are the one in the wrong. Persecute someone who is innocent to save a genetic family member. People are brainwashed into the 'all that matters is family' belief. That just makes abused family members think they should keep going back for more abuse, and the abusers a license to do it again and again. It`s insanity. And it's a very dangerous message when people who aren't in abusive families keep spreading it and people who are in abusive families keep hearing it.
But is it all a co-incidence? If you look at it in a different, deeper context, maybe it isn`t. If someone treats you badly and they`re not a genetic, most people will usually simply cut them off and have no further contact. If they treat you really badly, you would simply cut off for cosmology without hesitation. But how much do we learn from that? It`s not really that hard to cut off relationships with non-relatives.
But with family members, after even the most heinous crimes many allow their conscious to talk them into eventually being drawn back to the very people, close relatives, who will again treat them badly. Even after a period of separation, often months or years, even knowing that the same abuse will be recommitted on them, they still go back. Like lemmings, genetics makes people walk right back to their abusers. Genetics is like some Siren of DNA tempting you back for more abuse.
So lets look at it a different way. Maybe, just maybe, these people are in your family to teach you to Love yourself? Not just a bit, we all think we do at least a bit, but a lot. It`s the genetic attachment that really forces you to have to truly face up to it. Until you do, you just go back for more punishment, again and again and again. You just don`t Love yourself sufficiently to say ENOUGH. It`s only when you love yourself a lot do you have the strength to not let genetics hypnotise you to go back. Instead it empowers you to stand up to abusive family members and remove them from your cosmology, completely and permanently, so are they no longer able to abuse you ever again. When you love yourself enough to do this, there will also be no guilt the genetic connection. Then you will love yourself enough to stop their abuse.
We both have had more than our fair share of Genetic Hypocrisy, mental, emotional and even sexual abuse. We both have 'close' genetic family members we no longer have anything to do with due to their repeated abuse towards us. It has helped us both learn to Love ourselves more by cutting them off and not going back. We would rather have non-genetic friends who are kind to us, that have anything to do with family members who aren`t. In fact we would rather have no friends at all, than abusive family members. For those that commit the abuse, well, they`re at a completely different stage in their journeys through cosmology and spirit. Hopefully they`ll get it too one day, but it`s probably not going to be in this cosmology.